Follow up from Joyce Moon
Empowering Your Child to Face Life's Challenges
Thanks to Joyce Moon for giving an excellent and informative talk at our Sept. 28th General Meeting. Joyce wanted to be sure to empower those in attendance with additional tools and information:
SO WHAT DO WE DO INSTEAD? We heard the message that rescuing our children wasn't giving them the skills they need, but we didn't get any new tools to increase their success. We can't just let our children sink or swim alone (remember that supportive, empathetic, nurturing parent).
You can help your child to make better choices by teaching problem solving. You will have lots of opportunities to teach this skills and every problem does not need to be discussed (but remember your long term goal of having an independently functioning adult).
Problem solving discussion with your child:
- What happened? What is the problem?
- What was your part/role in the situation?
- Awareness of self action is the beginning of change
- There is no reality, only our perception of it
- Further exploration question: What happened before . . ?
- What was the other person's role?
- Why did he/she act that way?
- What can we do to solve the problem?
- Remember, you can only control the way you respond, not others
- Accept lots of possible solutions, you child should generate 2 for your every one
- Some can be silly or impractical solutions
- Evaluate the solutions
- How likely are they to work in the short term to make the problem better?
- How likely are they to work in the long term?
- What are the costs and benefits of the solution (for the child and for others)?
- Make a plan
- Choose a solution
- Make an action plan, who will do what and when
- Talk about any current consequences from the problem
- Talk about what will happen next time
Parenting takes great courage, determination, persistence, and love. Remember to share your joy and love everyday along with setting standards and expectations.
~ Joyce Moon